Chapter Text
“No, seriously. I don't think I can do this. Toph, you understand me, right? Being in the same position and all.”
Toph, at the age of nineteen, sat in Zuko's office, barefooted and trying not to pick on her nose. The esteemed Fire Lord told her she was too old for wonky habits. She lay on the couch, legs crossed with a bored look on her face. With her metalbending school doing perfectly and her students being promoted to instructors, she was left with nothing to do. So, she was sent here because her staff gave her a mandatory vacation, but it was mostly her just wanting to travel around and see old faces. She missed having Appa. She missed having them.
Aang had yet to visit her for the past three months. She might’ve missed him, too.
“Yeah, it’s a pain in the ass,” she agreed, “but Fire Sages pushing you for marriage is normal. You’re twenty-three, single, and with no heirs. You’re ancient history by their standards.”
“Do you agree with them?”
“No. I agree with you that you can’t do it and shouldn’t do it. They’re just doing their jobs by being old and traditional.” Her ears were getting itchy. “Have you tried to get yourself out there? You know, outside marriage interviews—outside those old trolls’ control with handpicked fancy fingers. Strolls. Walk in the park. Feeding turtle ducks. Swimming with turtle ducks.”
Zuko sighed, getting up from his chair. “I don’t swim with turtle ducks.”
“The only thing that’ll get them off your back is if you date someone,” Toph explained. Fortunately, her parents were more entertained with their business and a flying bison to press her for marriage interviews. “Have you liked anyone since Mai?” He had been single ever since. There might’ve been an occasional date here and there but it didn’t make it to the official statement.
“I…” He hesitated. Bingo.
“So you found someone.”
“I’m not looking for someone! You’re starting to sound like those old sages.” A little more push. “I need my calming tea.” He went to the refreshments section of his office. How dandy. “Want some?”
Toph nodded. She might’ve skipped it if it was apple juice. “I said nothing about looking. You said that.” She sat up. Her throat felt parched with all the talking. “You can find someone without looking at all. They just come to your life and bam! Loveliness. Do the math, Sparky.”
He was rattled. His heart rate spiked faster than an eel hound. Toph guessed he found someone, but like his previous relationship, it was complicated. “What if… it’s someone I’ve known for a long time, but never considered before?”
“So… an old friend?” They were doing riddles now. She faintly heard steel clunking against ceramics. Her tea was being served. Zuko just had to spill his.
“Be careful. It’s hot.” Slowly, he placed the teacup on the table beside her. Returning to her question, he answered, “Yeah, kind of.” He didn’t expound on who it was. It might be one of their mutuals.
Toph considered he won’t give a name, so she had to topple off one factor after another. “Was it a friend of mine, too?”
He blew the steam from his cup. “Yeah.”
“A man?” Zuko stopped, raising a brow. “What? I’m open-minded. You should keep your options wide, Sparky.” Guess it was a woman then.
“I asked the question. Why am I the one interrogated instead?” The calming tea wasn’t working. Zuko had yet to take a sip.
“It depends on who this old friend is, your Royal Holiness. You have to be specific if you want an opinion from me.” Toph should be wrecking some soldiers by now if she followed schedule, but she was here, being Zuko’s relationship counselor. Free of charge, of course. “Give me something to work on.”
He gulped, tightening his fingers against his piping-hot tea. The temperature didn’t bother him at all. Then, he chugged it all in one sitting. “It’s… her name ends with an A.”
“You know I don’t do spelling. Are you doing this on purpose?”
“Sorry. I forgot about that.” It was a sincere apology, at least. Zuko took a deep breath, then sighed his biggest secret away. “Katara had been visiting for a joint outreach program between the Water Tribe and the Fire Nation. The healers she endorsed have been a great help to the outermost regions—places with scarce resources. Hospital census hadn’t been this low in a long while.” With the hundred years of war, those medical tents might’ve been full twenty-four-seven, three-six-five. “There have been… weird moments between us.”
“Define weird moments.” Another vague explanation. “Does it have flowers on it? Sparkles? All those oogies.”
Zuko might’ve frowned. Maybe this was the reason why he didn’t want to share it. “She’s been advising me on how to communicate better with the lower side of the echelon. We’ve discussed plans—schools, clinics, opportunities, and government aid. Technically, how to be a better Fire Lord. We’ve been formal, but when the weird moments come, I—”
Toph raised a hand. “Hold up. What’s the weird moment?”
“I don’t know! I can’t explain it!” He said exasperatedly, yet gently put the cup down before he could mistakenly smash it into bits. “It’s different from what I had with Mai. We don’t do signs. But with Katara, there are signs. There’s silence and eye-contact. I look away. She looks away. We say nothing, but I know it’s not nothing.” He rambled on. Toph needed a new cup of tea. “We’re friends and we don’t agree with each other every time, but we manage to sort it out one way or another. I learn new things from her all the time. It’s just—my chest is foolishly loud whenever she’s around and sometimes, I want to disappear when it gets too loud. I’m scared she might hear it.”
Toph took his words seriously, all too aware Zuko didn’t normally burst like this unless shoved into a corner like what she did to him. She needed to peel off his problem layer by layer. “You mentioned Mai so I’m guessing you’re relating the feelings you have for Katara to your ex. It’s not a crush, but deeper than that. Romantic styles.”
“Is it?” Zuko voiced out. He was still in denial.
“Unless you weren’t serious with Mai at all and just dated for fun. She wouldn’t be forgiving with that even when she’s already in a happy relationship.”
Zuko held his hands together, contemplating. Toph knew she had a point.
“Is she cute? Katara, I mean.” She had no idea, but when the answer is yes, it usually leads to another question.
“Have you seen her?” He asked her as if she asked uselessly, then he realized. “I’m sorry. You make it pass as if you have sight all along.”
“I know. I’m great. Let’s move on.” She swept his concerns under the rug. “Is she cute or not?”
“Yeah, she is.” He solemnly admitted. It sounded like a confession.
Toph was blind, but she could see the bigger picture. She wasn’t ignorant of the hushes and shushes of a myriad of people when they found out the master waterbender was single. She was strong, smart, and sensible. Katara cemented her own place as the representative of the Southern Water Tribe whenever there was a meeting within the four nations. She was worldly-renowned as a fighter and a healer. A total package. She was, is, and will be amazing—hitched or not. And most importantly, she made a name for herself, a separate one from Aang.
Zuko might be holding back because of the same factor.
“You like her.” Toph stated, no more questions. It was a fact.
He dragged a breath, conflicted. “It doesn’t matter. I have to consider two people’s feelings here, not just mine.” Katara and Aang. “I don’t even know if she thinks of me in the same way. I’m getting ahead of myself if I do anything about it.”
So, Zuko was semi-aware. He was just flatly denying it.
“How do you solve problems with Sugar Queen? Don’t you talk it out like you said?” Toph wedged an option for him. “It’s clearly disrupting your work relations with her so you better iron those wrinkles with her than for her. This is a two-person problem from what I could think of. It’s not just yours to deal with. As for the other—”
“Do you know who I’m talking about?” Zuko interjected.
“—Duh. Who else?” Toph continued, “You don’t have to worry about him. He’s been soul searching and helping birds from falling off their nests since they broke off. Aang took the breakup by heart, so you should listen to yours. It’s been three years since they went their separate ways and we’re no longer the people we used to be back when we were twelve.”
“I was sixteen,” he clarified.
“Even better. You’re older, so you should be smarter than this. Talk to her.”
Zuko was level-headed. He had power. He had strength. But he kept his feet on the ground. He was a different leader from Ozai and Aang, yet he deserved every right to be where he was right now. Toph wouldn’t guess a man like him needed a push.
He fell silent, then approached a different subject—kind of. It was subtly connected. “How are you and Aang?”
Toph wrinkled her forehead. Why did he ask as if they were a pair?
“What do you mean?”
He was confused. At least he sounded like it. “Aren’t you two together?”
“Again, what do you mean together?” Toph had her mouth open, surprised.
“But didn’t he—” he stopped himself, a realization sinking in. “—Didn’t he go on a trip with you?” There was no such trip. Zuko said it as if Aang brought her for vacation when they were doing his usual rounds in Bhanti Island. Herding baby bisons was her sidegig now.
However, she wasn’t sidetracked. Zuko wasn't as good a liar as his sister ever was.
“Your heart is on speakerphone, Sparky. It's screaming into my ears.” She told him in an elusively mocking manner, unoffended and unamused. “Didn't he what? Spit it out or—” she considered any dirt she had of him that wouldn't be too crude to share, just mostly embarrassing. “—I’ll tell Uncle Iroh his nephew’s having dating problems.”
“Is that supposed to bother me?”
“Yeah, you’re twenty-three and still have no game.”
Zuko sputtered on his tea. The last time his uncle interfered with a date was when he had a ridiculous hairstyle straight out of the last century’s fashion statement. Toph would remember it forever. Sokka hadn’t shut up about it ever since—explicitly describing it for her. Him in his adulthood with an effed up hairdo would be a great day to not have eyes. “You wouldn’t dare…”
“As if I give empty threats, Sparky.”
He deliberated if sharing whatever secret he had with Aang was worth the price should he endure with his Uncle’s tips and tricks in wooing with textbook flat hair and restricting etiquette. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“Guess you say this to Katara, too? Don’t you?”
He was taken aback. “Hey, that’s low.”
“So, you do! Man, that’s gotta be Sugar Queen’s trigger word. You gotta step up with your communication skills, Sparky. Take that as your lesson number one.”
His heart dropped a few beats, reminded of his dilemma with Katara. Then, he considered his options if he should tell her or not. “It wouldn’t be honorable to bend… bro code.”
“Bro code? Seriously?” Toph never imagined Zuko would even utter that word.
“Sokka called it.”
“Ah, makes sense.” Then, it clicked on her. “Wait, Sokka knows this too?”
Zuko clicked his tongue, muttering, “Me and my big mouth.”
Toph knew secrets—petty, silly, heavy, or even the littlest of secrets. She was their stash of secret notes after a long day’s work. It was the luck of the blind. Impartial and direct. And she kept them locked tight and deep. She was usually the one who listens to all of theirs since she had none to keep, but knowing someone held back something from her—most importantly, Aang—left a bitter taste in her mouth, like snow against her bare skin. Blinding.
“Look, I’m not in the position to say this,” Zuko explained, understanding where she was coming from. “If you really want to know about it, ask Aang. He’s the only one who can give you an answer.”
Aang. Always the answer to everything. To the hundred year war and to Zuko’s impending bad hair day.
Just as Toph wandered her thoughts to the bald monk, she felt light tremors on her chair. She tilted her head to the left, observant. Zuko, on the other hand, felt nothing as he took his pen and scribbled notes on what sounded like a paper. “You didn't tell me you have an appointment with Aang,” she said.
The Fire Lord looked up from his desk. “That’s because I don’t.”
On cue, Suki knocked on his door. Zuko let her in.
“Toph, Aang is here for you.”
Zuko turned to Toph. She shrugged. She had no idea why he was here either. It didn't matter, anyway. Aang was welcome here whether it was for a formal visit or for leisure.
“Join us, Suki.” Toph patted the spot beside her.
Suki’s heartbeat was calm and collected. She sounded happy. “I’m on duty right now, but thanks for asking, Toph.”
Toph faintly heard his signature light footsteps closing in from afar. Aang was running to Zuko’s office.
“Suki! Ty Lee!” They hugged. “Everything swell?”
“Guarding the Fire Lord as usual. Not that he needs it, but he does get cranky when someone disturbs his sleep,” Ty Lee responded with a grin.
“I don’t get cranky!”
“Looking great, Sifu Hotman,” Aang greeted. The door closed softly to give them some privacy. Toph felt his feet shift to her direction. “Is that whisky?” He might be pertaining to her cup, partly accusatory, mostly curious.
“No, it’s Zuko’s calming tea.”
“I don't drink alcohol when I’m working, Aang,” Zuko defended, not that he needed to. “But it’s great to have you here. Tea?”
Despite the spacious four-walled office, Aang plopped down in front of Toph, seated comfortably on the floor while she had her legs folded on the sofa. “Sure, I’d love a cup of tea.” He leaned against the edge of the sofa, head bent upward to look at her. “You have lines on your forehead, Sifu T. Not enjoying vacation?”
"Peachy,” she replied. Her hand cupped his head, guessing where his tattoos were. She tried to draw over it, fingers sliding invisible arrows. “What brings you here, Twinkle Toes?”
“I stopped by your school. One of the lily livers told me you were here.” His voice was higher than usual. He must be happy.
“Wait. Who?”
“Ho Tun.” Ah. The second metalbender who ever lived. A promising individual. “I saw another building. It looks new. Is it a dormitory?” He was ecstatic through the roof.
“Yeah. Ho Tun’s promoted, though. He’s an instructor now.” she answered, a little proud of herself. “Being an executive partner of the Earthen Fire Industries has its merits. I suggested the dormitory while Father did the magic with all those paper numbers.”
“Bills?”
“Yeah, that.”
Aang lifted a hand, clenching it for a fist bump. “That’s great, Sifu T. You’re training future sifus!” She returned it with a grin. She was used to compliments, but being complimented by Aang had its own degree of importance. “They’ve come a long way from three years ago.”
“I have no insecure students. If you are one, then it means you have the wrong teacher.”
“Right. I can see that.”
“It pays off when your first student is the Avatar. He had the biggest insecurity of it all.”
Aang turned. He seemed displeased. “You just had to go from there.” He stretched his fingers, catching her fist instead. “But yeah, you beat the guts out of me.”
Toph smiled.
“You need me for something?” Zuko finally reminded them of his presence in his own office, handing a warm cup of freshly brewed tea for Aang. He shook, but took the tea anyway.
She asked again, “Finally stepping up on your metalbending lessons?”
“I’m… practicing?” Aang was too soft. Earthbending was his most difficult element to master, but it was the second element he used the most throughout his battles. It didn't work out the same way for metalbending, though. It necessitated a higher tier of toughness and he fell short in that criteria. “Alright. No, I haven't, but there is a festival in the Fire Nation right now. Wanna come with me?”
Toph had no reason to turn him down. “Sure. I got time.” Perhaps it was the best time to ask Aang whatever secret he shared with his bros. She inwardly winced.
“How about you, Zuko?”
Zuko was silent, but there were light flutterings of the hems in his clothes, probably hitting the table with all the gestures he had to do. Toph was irked. Why couldn't they just speak instead?
Aang nodded.
“I can’t go,” Zuko replied, “I have work.”
Now they were talking. Why did this feel scripted?
Aang coughed out. “That’s too bad. We’ll get a mask for you instead!”
“Please don’t.”
“Let’s get going.” Aang summoned a small tornado that blew away the high temperature from his tea, then drank it all in one sitting. “Thanks for the tea, Sifu Hotman! I’ll catch up later when we’re done.” He grabbed Toph’s hand and whisked her away from the Fire Lord’s office.
“Remember what I said, Sparky. You owe me a bottle with that one.”
“No whisky, please,” Aang followed.
Zuko merely waved a hand—used to people barging in and out of his premises without prior notice. He sighed tiredly, dipping his brushpen to continue his endless paperwork.
An hour passed by after he got his concentration back, and another knock rang in his ears. Suki peeked by the entryway. Her good mood was off the charts.
“Zuko, I have great news! Sokka and Katara have arrived to discuss—”
His brush shook, missing a line.
“Oh, for the love of Agni—”
Amidst their stroll around booths and food stalls, Toph sensed a faint combustion from the Fire Lord’s palace. She guessed Zuko hadn’t wiped off his habits of smoke-belching whenever something catches him off guard.
“There’s smoke coming out of Zuko’s office,” Aang voiced out, “His Fieriness must’ve really wanted to come with us. Let’s find a good mask for him!”
Toph hummed. “Yeah. Go find one for him, Twinkle Toes.” A mask big enough to hide Zuko from Katara. She wouldn’t be surprised if Katara was here. Whenever there’s a festival, there would be Sokka. And if there’s Sokka, there would be Katara.
She understood, though. Festivals were fun. Toph liked festivals. It meant there would be good drinks and good food.
This one was better. The food was free.
They stopped by shooting ranges and a few toss-the-rings. The stall owners evidently knew who they were and told them that everything was a strictly no-bending type of games. Toph shrugged. Everything was for free so there was no need to relive her days as a scammer. Aang assented. He was mostly the one doing the playing since it required sight.
“Do you want anything, Sifu T? There are stuffed toys—”
“Skip.”
“—Toy guns—”
“Skip.”
“—And a keychain.”
Toph considered her very limited options. “Guess that works. What does the keychain look like?”
“A scarecrow with a melon for a head.” He dangled it in front of her, metallic sounds ringing. Then, he placed it in her palm to get a good feel. “It looks weird—”
“I think it’s weirdly perfect,” Toph grinned.
“—weirdly perfect, yeah, that’s exactly what I was gonna say.” Aang laughed a little, grabbing a few rings and playing one good round. He didn’t even have to return the keychain to the stall owner, proclaiming his prize before he won. She could feel him doing excellently with the task. There was a crowd forming around them.
“Kuzon?”
Toph turned slightly to the voice.
Aang dropped a ring and fell silent. She felt him tilt his chin, trying to recall who this person was. “On… Ji?”
“Kuzon! Or should I call you Aang instead?” On Ji seemed happy. Toph forgot how Festivals gather old and new faces together.
“Aang is okay,” he said. Then he moved a tad to the right, introducing Toph. “And this is—”
“Toph Beifong,” On Ji answered, sunshine and all. “No one in the world doesn’t know you. Is it only the two of you?”
Aang nodded, still in good spirits. “Toph, this is On Ji. I went to school with her for a couple of days.”
Aang was enrolled in a Fire Nation school back then, albeit illegally. Sokka acted as his strict bearded father while Katara was his very pregnant mother. Unfortunately, Toph had no part in that facade. She nodded, ignoring the hammerings of On Ji’s loud and fast heartbeat. It sounded like Zuko’s when he talked about Katara.
Aang having a handful of admirers never changed. It only increased.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking… but are you two—” On Ji gestured something.
Then, Aang sounded panicky.
“No—we’re not—yeah, we’re not.” It was jittery and hesitant. Aang sounded like he was convincing himself instead. “We’re just friends.”
Toph wasn’t stupid. She was the least dense out of all of them. They were, a hundred percent, discussing if they were an “it”.
And they were friends, as they should be.
Toph convinced herself she wasn’t bothered by it, agreeing with a flat yeah.
“Oh, that’s great.” Of course, friendship is great. On Ji seemed to be a fan of the friendship between Aang and Toph more so than usual. “Do you want to join us? We have a small get-together with the class. Toph is more than welcome with us.”
For some reason, Toph became the tag-along in this situation.
Aang was unsure, rubbing the back of his neck as he skirted glances between her and his old classmates. “Well, uh—Toph, what do you say?”
It had been years since Aang had been with his pseudo-classmates. He could see Toph as often as he wanted at any time of the day. She tried to read over his smallest movements. Aang was acting weird. Like this keychain he won for her. “Sure, go ahead.”
On Ji was quick to pull Aang to the tables and chairs—arranged like a local food court, alongside the rest of his former classmates. There were cheers and jeers. High-fives and hugs were thrown. It was a rare display of normalcy for Aang, Toph thought. Of course, it was nothing like the usual gang, but Aang was mostly surrounded by people significantly older than him (if you skip the century-old age)—handling political affairs and all that mission to maintain the balance of the world. Right now, Aang got to be what he should be, a nineteen-year old boy with a couple of old friends.
She occupied a chair from the farther end, listening attentively with a knuckle under her cheek. On Ji sat next to her. There were a couple of murmurs and gasps when they recognized Toph Beifong. She simply waved back and let them have their moment.
“We got detention for the rest of the year after that dance party. You owe us, Aang.”
“I still find it unfair you only danced with On Ji and that pretty older woman. Was that Katara from the Water Tribe?”
“We can still do that again with the festival and all. Hey, Aang! Let’s dance!”
There were tons of voices. Toph could hardly remember who was whom.
Aang was getting shoved left and right. He seemed happy though, genuinely appreciative to be with his old friends. “Hold up a sec. There’s just one of me and there’s all of you.”
“Then choose!” One of them badgered. “Who’s gonna be the lucky lady-slash-lad tonight.”
There was an underlying intonation with that harmless question. Aang was single, and the rest of the world were hawks lying in the wake, ever expectant on who would catch the attention of the Avatar. It was bs, if Toph were to have any say in it. They never gave Aang the room to breathe when it came to the gossip about his romances. It annoyed her. It reminded her of those old fools who pressured her parents to pressure her with marriage.
Subtly, she felt Aang look at her with how his feet slightly moved to her direction, overstaying his glances as her heavy-lidded eyes stared back at him—tried to, at least. His light, feathery steps closed in on her. A part of Toph hoped he wouldn’t come to her, yet a part of her also leaned into the possibility she wouldn’t have ever considered a year ago.
That he would choose her.
Aang stopped short in front of On Ji, extending a hand. He didn’t say anything, and neither did Toph.
Whistles and jests were thrown. It was all a harmless dance, but On Ji was close to a fully ripened tomato, seconds away from bursting into redness. She meekly accepted his invitation, and Aang pulled her up from her chair, guiding her to where the music happened.
Toph’s lips twitched slightly. She wasn’t even an option.
Especially not in this crowd.
What the hell did she expect?
Toph waited for them to swirl their feet on the ground. And left.
“I know you’re saying this so I can get off your back, but you can’t say those things to someone you don’t love.”
The warning he gave her years ago had returned a hundredfold. Toph didn’t know what she disliked more—realizing her feelings for Aang or the way she realized her feelings for Aang.
It felt sh*tty. She needed that whisky.
Amidst her internal storms covering her sense of direction, she bumped against someone significantly taller than her—pushing the man back on the ground.
“Hey! Can’t you watch where you’re—” He stopped as he recognized her. “Toph! You’re here!” Sokka exclaimed, forgetting his annoyance. Toph was the only one who could bump him on the ground and make him not complain at all. “Zuko told us you’re with Aang—” His sentence got cut off with her sniffle.
Toph sniffled. Sniffled.
“Not good,” he muttered as he pushed himself up from the ground. “This is definitely not good. Did I hit you too hard? I know I’ve been training, but I didn’t think I’d be this strong…” He bent down, inspecting her tear ducts. Toph felt something brush her back, covering her from onlookers. Sokka must’ve had a coat with him. A coat in the Fire Nation. It didn’t make sense, but she appreciated it.
“What do you mean? Is Toph hurt?” That sounded like Katara. Mom-mode Katara. Great. Just great. “What did you do this time, Sokka? If Suki hears this, you’re as good as dumped.”
“I swear, I didn’t mean to do it!” He raised his hands in surrender. “I’m the one who got pushed but I hurt Toph instead. Should I quit with the weights?”
Katara ignored him, focusing on Toph instead. “Toph, did something happen?” She had a hand on Toph’s back, ushering her inside of Zuko’s palace grounds. She skimmed through her state, seeing no wounds or gashes.
Toph dragged a breath, trying to recollect herself. “Katara, can you remove Sokka here?” She had something to say to her and Sokka shouldn’t hear it. “Please?”
Sokka gasped, dejected to be evicted. “I’m so sorry, Toph. I’ll drop the weights starting tomorrow—”
“Get out of here, Sokka, or I’ll throw you away myself.” That was enough of a threat from Katara to have her brother run back to where Suki was stationed, probably preparing his apology speech about strength being a weakness.
When they were finally alone, Toph gathered her will. “Katara, I’m sorry.”
Katara blinked, profoundly confused. “Did Sokka really hurt you this badly? You rarely apologize.”
Toph shook, tone lowered to a whisper. “I think I like Aang. Like-like.” She had no clue what face Katara was making, but she felt the waterbender’s heart stop for a millisecond. Katara was equally important to her as Aang, Sokka, Zuko and Suki were. Minutes after she acknowledged her feelings, Toph already regretted it.
“Did he make you cry?” Katara asked. There was a stern tone to it.
“No. As if Aang can make anyone cry.”
“Then why are you sniveling?”
“I’m allergic to festivals.”
“Toph,” Katara said her name in a light yet stern way of subtly telling her she convinced no one. “Did Aang do anything?”
“Nothing,” Toph answered truthfully, “he did nothing.”
And that was the source of her dilemma. Aang did nothing.
“Don’t talk to him about it. Don’t even mention this to him. I don’t want him to know and it’s not his fault. I just want to get out of here.”
“Alright. I understand.” She felt Katara’s arms enclose her in a tight hug. The older woman didn’t ask nor pressed her for details. This was what Toph liked about Katara. She was the sensible one out of everyone. “Toph, you don’t have to apologize to me at all. We don’t choose who we love.” Then, she released her, gently wiping her tears with a soft smile. “Let’s get you out of here. I’ll have the ship ready for us.”
They reunited with Sokka and Zuko ten minutes later, informing them of their departure.
“What? But I haven’t even seen the festival stalls!” Sokka reacted. He shut up later when he saw a sniffling Toph. “Okay, you can go ahead without me. I think Aang’s gonna need a buddy or two. I’ll treat you at the next festival, Toph. Don’t want you to get jealous of my divided attention.”
“The food is free. Try doing better,” Suki commented, handing Toph a basket full of Fire Nation delicacies. “There’s fire flakes in there. I hope you’ll like it.” A Suki special care package.
“I’ll visit you when I have my vacation leave,” Ty Lee told her with a bone-crushing hug. She was much stronger than Sokka. “We can have girls’ night for a week!”
Zuko had his brows furrowed. “Do you want a bottle of whisky to go?” He asked, brushing her hair in place with all the running she did. He had a vague sense of what happened with Aang being absent.
“Please.”
They boarded a cutter sailing ship later that day with several bottles of Fire whisky. Toph might’ve sensed Aang from afar, returning to Zuko’s office with his signature feathery steps.
She closed her eyes, fearing she would never forget how such a light fancy dancer would quake her entire being.
Toph called it quits with all the marriage interviews since Aang returned. But the world revolves around the sun and she was no longer with him—as a traveling partner, obviously—so she had time to kill.
Her mother suggested Aang as a marriage prospect once. Toph made it abundantly clear that this suggestion was a no.
After the Fire Days Festival, not once had she spoken to Aang. It was longer than the time he was gone for his soul-searching. Sometimes, she felt him closing in on her metalbending school. Toph had developed her keen seismic sense sharp enough to feel him miles away. Then, she would turn and let her former students take charge as she left. No explanations. No disclosed locations. Aang would arrive without any clue about where she disappeared.
Toph won't give him a lead. He never asked for one in years.
Sometimes, Aang would be crafty. He flew down to her school with his glider instead of Appa. He knew she’d know if the ten-ton bison airbends to her place. Whenever that happens, one of her students would notify her and Toph digs a hole under her office table, running to the bottom of the mountain. She made sure she sealed the hole tightly with metal so Aang wouldn't be able to follow her.
This time, Toph stayed in the Beifong residence in Gaoling. She knew manners. She knew how to be prim and proper when she needed to. Maybe meeting a guy who was sure of her wouldn't be a waste of time.
She changed into garments her mother chose for her. Poppy Beiforng was considerate enough to exclude any form of footwear. Toph guessed she was wearing luxury tonight as her mother personally dressed her pretty. She told her how great her physique and hair were—that she grew up beautifully. Her daughter wouldn't know pretty, but Toph listened to the rhythmic beatings of her heart. And she would know that none of it was a lie.
However, the headband stayed. It never left.
Tonight, she will be meeting someone different yet sincere—Kanto. A humble man from the Fire Nation colonies. Her father introduced him as a respectable man who worked for the Earthen Fire Industries. Industrious and charming. Toph didn't mind spending her evening introducing herself for the hundredth time.
They had dinner. They had introductions. They had a good walk around the street.
Kanto was a nice man. He had a mellow heartbeat and a soothing voice. Toph had a hunch he looked great, too, hearing ladies swoon from the sidelines.
But there was this nagging monk who just couldn't seem to mind his own business, intruding into her mind the moment they passed by an Air Acolyte selling fruit pies. Freaking vegetarian.
Toph pressed her lips to a thin line. Even with Aang gone, she was distracted.
“Fruit pies! It's the Avatar’s favorite from what I heard. What do you think? Would you like one?” Kanto asked her, on the topic of Aang out of all people.
“It's so-so. He likes Egg Custard Tarts more,” she responded absentmindedly.
“He?”
Toph looked over to the front, keeping her face free from any reaction as her whole attention had been stripped away from Kanto. “Twinkle Toes.”
“Oh, you mean the Avatar! I heard you two are quite close.”
“We are,” a voice shot in front of them. Kanto gasped a little, surprised to see the man of the hour in the bustling streets of Gaoling. “Toph hadn't mentioned a friend. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Aang.”
Friend. She didn't need to mention anything to him. She wanted to bend him away to the North Pole.
“Oh, everyone knows you, Avatar Aang. It's an honor to be in your presence.” They shared a handshake. “Are you here on an official business?”
Toph felt Aang’s eyes on her. It lingered for a long while. “I am. It's with the Beifong family.”
The corners of her eyes twitched in annoyance. He was making up an excuse she couldn't turn away from while also wedging Kanto a subtle go home, buddy.
“Ah, understandable,” Kanto turned to Toph, “I’m afraid to cut this short. Would you like me to escort you home?”
“I’d be—”
“We have to buy something on our way there. Don't we, Toph?” Aang sounded cheerful. Toph guessed he had a pretty punchable face now. “You owe me fruit pies.”
Fine. If we want to corner her, then he’ll get it.
“Now that you mentioned it, I do.” Toph shifted to Kanto, apologetic. “Thank you for the walk. I enjoyed it. Will you be okay on your own?”
His soothing heartbeat faltered slightly. Kanto was, kind of, disheartened. “I enjoyed it, too, milady. I’ll do just fine. I bid you and the Avatar a pleasant night.”
As Aang waited for Kanto to disappear among the crowd, Toph turned to the fruit pies stall and bought the remaining stock. “Tie it all up and give it to that baldy over there,” she pointed to Aang. “Send the charges over to the Beifong household.”
Then, she briskly walked back home.
“Toph, wait!” Aang exclaimed with a whoosh of air, lifting the treats high on the ground.
“You got your fruit pies. Isn't that your official business, Twinkle Toes?”
He struggled with what to say, coming up with a flimsy opening. “Uh… how’ve you been?”
“Peachy. You?
“Peachy? I guess.”
“Alright. See you later.” They passed by the humongous gates of the Beifong Manor. Toph bent a huge rock, sealing the gate between her and Aang.
Aang bent the Earthen blockage down on the ground with a swift push of his arm, mumbling an apology to the shocked guards who could only watch from a distance. “You’re angry.”
“I’m not. I'm tired.” Tired of this push and pull. Last time she remembered, there was only one waterbender between the two of them.
They continued their chase, heading straight to the garden where they first officially met. Appa was already there with Momo, eating lychee nuts from their plants. Poppy Beifong probably allowed them to.
“That’s not it. I know you.” He shook, dropping off the pies on Appa’s saddle. “First of all, milady? Last time I called you that, you threw me upward to the edge of a cliff.”
“Great thinking. I should do that again since you disrupted my date. For. The. Second. Time.” Toph took off the pins that held her hair together—her locks freely flowed to her back. “Father’s in the office. You can do whatever you need to do. I’ll go to sleep.”
“But Toph—”
“What?” It was the demanding kind of what.
Aang grew silent, fiddling with his staff about what to say. “Are your… parents pushing you to get married?”
Another wishy-washy question. Months apart and he still couldn't be direct with her.
She clenched her teeth and exhaled. She was getting flustered with her feelings. She needed to keep herself in check.
“No, I am.” Aang’s shoulders slumped. “I’m twenty and single. I have time to do whatever I want. Maybe even get hitched.”
“Hitched?” Aang repeated, disbelieving. “Marriage is a serious thing, Toph. You can't decide on a guy over a few walks.”
“I haven’t said yes to any guy or girl over a few walks. Who knows? Maybe I’ll fall in love with them. Maybe I won’t.”
Aang dragged a breath, stabbing his glider to the ground. “How would you know? Have you ever been in love, Toph?”
With you. But she wouldn't say that out loud.
“That doesn't concern you, Aang.”
His heartbeat spiked. He was getting as annoyed as she was.
“But it does,” he said. “I will always be concerned for you. We’re friends! We were enjoying the festival last year and you were just—” He was out of words for once. Unbefitting for a chatty person like him who was extroverted to the core. “—gone. You were just gone, Toph. You've been avoiding me for months now and I don't have the faintest bit of a clue why! Next thing I’ll know is you getting married to who-knows-who.”
Toph twisted her body to him. Her face was so close to his that she could feel his breathing over her nose. “I’m not avoiding you. I just don't see why you have to be with me all the time. We’re not kids anymore and you can't find your own lady fingers if you're stuck with me. Why aren’t you with On Ji anyway?”
“I don't need any ladyfingers and I’m not dating On Ji.”
“Don't you have the mission to revive your heritage? On Ji would be delighted to be the mother of all Air Nomads.”
“So, you’ve been avoiding me because you care about my race?” Aang seemed sarcastic. He might’ve picked it from her. “That doesn't sound like you at all.”
Toph stomped a foot on the ground, pushing him back as he landed on his butt. “You meddling about my would-be married life doesn't sound like you at all.”
Aang pushed himself up from the ground, air swishing under him. “It’s because I care about you!”
“Sokka cares about me too but he doesn't fly here just to tell who's the scumbag suitor. Sparky sends me wine for bad days—”
“He does? I told him not to.”
“He likes me more than he likes you.”
Aang was trying not to match her temper. Voice forcibly leveled as if he chose to be the mature one between them. “I didn't come here to argue with you, Toph. I want to talk to you to fix whatever our problem is.”
“You tell me, Aang. What is our problem?”
If Aang had hair, he would run his hand through the locks in frustration, grumble a few made-up words, and abandon his peace and quiet. He was never like this with other people—just with her. “I… don't want to call it a problem.”
Toph folded her arms across her chest. Waiting.
“Toph, do you remember?” He started, insinuating a memory she should recall. Toph kept her silence. “We were sixteen. Katara and I broke up. You told me that if we didn't find anyone by the time we’re twenty-five, we would—” he halted, finding the right words to say, “—get hitched.”
Toph regretted she did that. She shouldn't have. “What of it?”
Aang peeled her hand from its criss-crossed arrangement, palm open. “And now, you’re volunteering with all of these marriage interviews. Did I do you any wrong?”
His lack of action, maybe, did her wrong. But should she hold it against him? Yes. She should. “I’m doing you a favor, Aang. Do you want to marry me in the first place with a half-baked proposal?”
The wind blew tenderly around them. Aang brushed her hair lightly to get a better look at her face. “Maybe I do. Maybe I don't want to look for anyone else.”
Maybe. Another f*cking maybe.
Toph didn't like all the maybes. She was a maybe herself for Aang. She reiterated her question. “Does Sparky know anything? He asked me if we were together. Together-together.”
Aang flinched. “What? When?”
“I don't know. I don't do calendars.” Toph moved away from his hand. “So? What's going on with that?”
“I, uhh,” he fumbled over his words. “I… spent a lot of time with you after things fell apart with Katara, and I kind of freaked out when I realized that I—” He stared at her. “—like you. I wasn't sure. We were seventeen and it's only been a year since the breakup.”
They weren't doing anything special. It was when she was teaching Aang how to be a good teacher.
He continued, “I don't know what to do. You told me that I might’ve liked Katara because she was the first one I saw since the iceberg. I don't want to think I like you just because I’m always with you. I told Zuko and Sokka about it and they tipped me to find something else to do. Alone. I’ll know if I really like you if I still feel the same afterward.”
She called it soul-searching for fun. Turns out, it really was soul-searching. He had to give her a reason to meet at the soonest time. Thus, Appa.
“How did that work for you?”
“I returned to Gaoling and intended to bring fruit pies for your parents, but you were on a date and you gave my fruit pies to him. You can guess enough, Toph.”
How was she supposed to know he liked her back then? They threw out rocks for fun. They flew places and babysat tiny bisons. His treatment never changed from Aang the friend to Aang the suitor. Toph didn’t want special treatment, but honesty from him.
Still, he never asked for her hand and she, fortunately, never played favorites.
“A guess is all I can do. You never told me you like me until now—when I’m pissed as hell with you.” She raised her toes a little, trying to match his height. “Why do you like me, Aang? You and I make no sense.”
His heart was so loud. His breathing went heavier. Toph had pricked him, deeply and profoundly.
If someone were to ask her why she liked Aang, Toph would call them numbnu*ts and stuff them to the ground. Her liking Aang made no sense, too, and she wasn't looking for answers either. She just wanted to know his.
Aang clenched his jaw, evidently hurt. “You’re the one who said you're not looking for anything serious! It’s disheartening.”
He didn't tell her why he liked her. Toph guessed he was just as lost as she was.
“Because I don’t have a reason to. You never presented yourself as someone who wanted something with me. You’re looking for your divine calling and I’m not going to hold you back with that.” Her fringes were probably hitting his face by now but she didn't care. “You're not a dunderhead, Aang. You dated-dated someone. I didn’t. If you really were serious with me, you would've let your intentions be known. You would let me know. What are you gonna do? Wait until we turn twenty-five to get married because of a stupid promise when we were sixteen?”
Aang drew back, genuinely caught off guard.
His silence was deafening. It screamed a whole yes.
Toph didn't look pretty. Her forehead was scrunched and her brows were pointy with disappointment. “You… you really are a dunderhead.” Double monkey feathers. She was so close to catapulting him to a giant hornet’s nest at the south of Gaoling. “Even with me, you want to go the easy way, don't you?”
His heart rate blared along her nerves. It cracked its way through his voice.
“No, Toph—you got it all wrong. Nothing is ever easy with you, and that’s completely alright. It’s perfect, even!” He spoke way too fast. His mouth was faster than his mind. “I just—being with you has been amazing. So amazing that I’d want to travel all over the world again if it meant you’d come with me. But pursuing you—I… I just don’t know—”
Whatever Aang was trying to say, it was making things worse for him.
“What, Aang?” She emphasized his name. “Don’t know what?”
“I don't know if you’d want me the same way as I want you.” Aang blurted, exasperated and drained at the same time. “Toph,” he heaved her name as if he begged for alms. “I don't know if we’d ever get to do things like this together if you… feel differently. I was happy. I am happy. I don't ever want it to disappear. I don't think I can handle it if I lose you the same way as I did with Katara.” They were still friends, but it wasn't the same as before.
Toph let out a sound. She was having none of this, raising a hand to stop him with that kind of mindset. “Great thinking, Aang. You’re about to lose me in another stupid way. I’m not your B-team or your safety net.”
“Toph, please—”
Katara is Katara. Toph is Toph. Him fearing the same outcome for two different people made her question why she liked this guy at all.
“You don't think I was looking for anything serious? Well, you’re right. I never looked. Serious came to me instead when I was eighteen.” Toph shook, honesty pouring out of her mouth. “People change, Aang. You did whatever your miracle feats do and changed me.”
“But—”
She cut him off. “Every time you come and ask me to go places, I drop everything I do and go with you. I even skipped Ty Lee’s rare circus show last year just to go penguin sledding with you when I absolutely hate snow!”
Aang was completely silent at this point, barely collecting his thoughts.
“You weren't thinking of me. You weren't thinking of us. You're only thinking about yourself and what you would feel. You could’ve at least tried for me.” She stepped aside and walked away. “I'm a risk you don’t want to take.”
Aang swiftly reached out for her arm, tugging her back, but she shook it away. Toph twisted her body, facing him one last time as this would be the sounds of him she would know of for the rest of her life. Pained. Hurt. Guilty.
“You talk about me as if you know me. Well, bad news for you, Aang, you don’t.” She closed her eyes. “Because if you do, you would've known that I’d say yes to you.”
Aang looked at her with loud tremors in his chest. It was fortunate she couldn't see his face, eyes boring into the void she had lived for her whole life.
Toph turned, and she shut her senses off.
She would probably be his lifelong regret.
Toph’s last memory on pounds of ice in the Southern Water Tribe was penguin sledding with the Avatar. The ice, she disliked, but the penguins, she liked. That was still a good memory from a year ago despite her dislike of the said Avatar.
Aang was neither of the two. Toph forbade herself to remotely think about him, failing miserably as Aang was everyday’s flash news for the past year. She would hear of him even the moment she stepped out of her house or school. Having ears was a terrible idea for the past year.
The usual barefooted soles were covered with layers of socks encased in what her mother called a mukluk. A special kind of boots native to the Water Tribe. Toph disliked mukluks the most. Thick. Fluffy. Blinding. She inevitably reunited with them when she briefly made a trip to the Northern Water Tribe to do business as an Executive in the Earthen Fire Industries. Unlike its sister tribe, this one faced a scarcity of oil and crystals.
Previously, she flew over these huge blocks of floating ice with Appa. But with her current status with Appa’s foster father, she had to go on foot with a metal ship. Zuko was generous enough to offer a ride. Toph could eat whatever she wanted.
However, this was, unfortunately, a huge business venture between the four nations which meant a lot of familiar faces—Aang included. She would cross paths with him against her will.
“Can I skip this meeting?” Toph questioned as she walked out of the Fire Nation ship.
“You’re already here. What’s there to skip?” Zuko offered an arm. She gladly took it. “Uncle, will you be coming with us?”
Uncle Iroh followed behind them, cheerful as ever to return to the Northern Water Tribe as a friend rather than a foe. “I heard the natives are curious about the Fire Nation tea. This is far more important than a long serious yet sleepy business meeting.”
Zuko shook, grumbling. “How are you a general back then…”
“I agree! Let me go with you,” Toph was quick on her covered feet, yet Zuko was already guiding her to the other side of the road from where his uncle was headed to. When there had yet to be any response, Toph asked, “Where’s Iroh?”
“On the other side of the town.” Toph punched his shoulder lightly. “Hey! Punching the Fire Lord is a heavy crime.”
“Said by the guy who redirected lightning at the previous one.”
“Touché,” Zuko responded with a streak of mirth. “Unlike the Southern Water Tribe, there’s an actual ground here. I have to ask Katara for permission but if you promise to attend—”
“I promise!” She replied fast, excitedly gushing over dirt.
With a couple more piles of snow, Toph would hear familiar voices.
“Toph! Zuko!” It sounded funny. Must be Sokka.
She let go of Zuko’s arm and ran straight to her front, stumbling a little in the process. He immediately went in for a hug, practically hoisting her in the air as he saved her from planting her head on ice. It felt weird. Sokka never hoisted her in the air after Toph reached sixteen. “As I promised, I laid back on the weights, Toph.” He sounded smug, at least. “I do cardio instead! It’s more challenging to run on ice than solid ground.”
“You did?” Toph asked, a hand under his arm as she gave it a good feel. “You feel more muscle-y.”
“Uh, that’s not me.” Sokka told her, sounding unsure.
Toph stopped whatever she was doing, blinking absent-mindedly.
“Hi, Sifu T.” Oh.
Oh.
“Oh,” Toph uttered. “Hi, Twinkle Toes. You can let me go now.” That well-toned muscle-y guy was Aang. What the hell had he been doing?
Aang carefully put her down. Katara immediately swooped in for a hug. “Toph! I missed you so much!”
No one knew of their fallout. None but them.
“I missed your motherhood too, Katara!” This time, Toph was ecstatic to wrap her arms around someone. Now that she thought about it, Aang and Katara together in one place without awkwardness was new. Not really new, but new version two-point-zero.
“It was perfect until you said motherhood,” Katara chided but kept her hold on her. “It’s nice to see you too, Zuko.”
Zuko nodded, mumbling a small you too.
They probably went for a hug with all the snow crinkling underneath their shoes—awkwardly, at that. It was like the awkwardness between Aang and Katara got transferred to Zuko’s funny bones. They seemed to forget how to hug, crossing their arms in the same direction like weird animals doing this dance. Ty Lee called it peaco*cks or something.
They settled for a handshake instead, to which Toph made a face. Really?
This whole troupe was screaming edginess and clumsiness. Sokka seemed to be the dense one who kept explaining his exercise regime and how it kept his brain active. “You see, when you jog for a whole hour, your brain goes all tingly with boogsh! Shroom! Wazahhh!”
“Interesting,” Toph remarked, holding his arm as she tried to maintain distance from Aang. Sokka’s arm was less muscle-y than Aang’s. She shouldn’t compare them. “I’m sorry, Sokka.”
“Huh? For what?”
“For your noodle arms.”
“Wha—I don’t have noodle arms!” Sokka bit back, turning back to Katara. “You’re somewhat a doctor, Katara. Do I have noodle arms?”
Katara acted like she thought about it. “Like Unfried Dough.”
“That’s it. I’m going back to my weights,” Sokka grumbled, crossing his so-called noodle arms. “Anywho, is this your first time in the Northern Water Tribe, Toph?”
Aang was bizarrely silent. Toph wanted to bolt away if only she could see through the ice. “Yeah. Zuko said there’s dirt here.”
“Dirt?” Katara sounded irked.
“Literal dirt. There’s a garden here, right?” Zuko quickly clarified.
It clicked like a jackpot in the fire nation’s gambling den. Katara beamed, “Oh that! Great thinking, Zuko.” Toph felt Katara’s hand pull her away from Sokka. “Come with me, Toph. I was supposed to go there to get Spirit water.”
“A spirit what now?” Toph raised a brow.
It was significantly difficult to adjust to pure blindness. She understood nothing as Katara ushered her away in the other direction, ordering the guys to go ahead without them.
With a few notes and a brief history of how Aang transformed into a big water fish and crushed Fire Nation ships, Katara managed to paint her a picture of this so-called Spirit Oasis as they crossed a wooden bridge.
“Thank the spirits you brought me here before that snoozefest,” Toph exclaimed, warmth flooding her nerves. The temperature here was higher than the north pole’s negative climate. “Zuko really wants me to join them when all I do is nod and give a thumbs up.”
Katara had a hearty laugh. “He probably wants you to stop avoiding Aang.”
Toph froze, head tilted to the side. “I’m not avoiding him. Our paths just don’t cross anymore.”
“Are you kidding me? After the Fire Days Festival, we never saw you two together when you kept in touch with Aang more than anyone else.” Katara pointed out the obvious. “You were walking eggshells around him and so was he.”
“That’s not enough proof.”
“You told me you like-like him and then sniffled about it.”
Toph frowned, blowing a raspberry to her stray bangs. “Valid. Okay, you’re right. I am avoiding him.”
Katara guided her across the platform, stopping short to greet Tui and La before she continued with their conversation. “What happened? I’m sure it wasn’t this bad until a few months ago.”
Toph let go of her arm. “You’re sure?”
“Yeah. Aang’s been asking about your whereabouts for a few months after the festival, and then it all suddenly stopped.”
“So, you and Aang are on speaking terms now?”
Katara chuckled. “Toph, we broke up five years ago. We’ve naturally reconciled and grown as responsible individuals. You weren’t really around most of the time to see us together, were you? Since you’re so busy avoiding Aang.”
Toph ruffled her locks. Barely an hour with Katara and she was already giving her the talk. “Did he tell you anything?”
Katara shrugged. “He just asked me how to be a better person. He said he kept screwing things up. I suppose that’s connected to you.”
Toph pursed her lips. “Does that involve him growing muscles?”
“Oh, no. That’s entirely Sokka. Aang runs with him whenever he’s around,” Katara explained, folding her arms across her chest. “You haven’t answered my question, Toph.”
That meeting was starting to sound sweet right about now for this Beifong heir. She couldn’t put it into words. “It’s complicated, but it’s basically me half-assing a proposal to Aang when you guys broke up. Told him we should get hitched if he didn’t find anyone when we’re twenty-five.”
Katara kept her silence, nodding for her to continue.
“We traveled. Yada-yada. He grew to like me. He left for enlightenment. He returned but got scared because I wasn't serious with relationships. He chose On Ji for a stupid dance but when I was trying to choose a guy for myself, he gets all preachy at me. I found out. I got mad because he wimped out. Then bam! We don’t talk anymore.”
“Wow. You really are bad at story-telling.” Katara’s hair loopies moved slightly as she walked to where Toph was standing. “Did you tell anyone about this?”
“Of course not. What happens in the Beifong Garden stays in a random lake at the Northern Water Tribe,” Toph answered, still frowning. Her toes were freezing from all the iciness. “Me liking Aang was supposed to be dragged into my deathbed. The only reason why I told you was because it’s you, Katara.”
Water lightly splashed from the corner. Katara must’ve finished gathering Spirit water.
Toph plopped on the grass, breathing steadily as she felt the ground beneath her. “Finally, nothing like good ol’ soil.” She unclasped her gloves and threw it beside her, palm feeling through the surface of the ground. Faintly, she sensed two fishes moving in circles with the way the water continuously swished near them. “Is Sokka’s ex here?”
“Yeah, it’s the white fish.”
“That doesn’t really help me, does it?” Toph turned to the source of all the swishing. “Hi there, Yue. I hope you don’t mind if I live in your garden for a few days. I’ll make sure to keep the landscape in tiptop shape.” The water continued swishing. Yue probably said yes.
Katara sat beside her in the finely kept grass. “So, you told me you like Aang for a heads up?”
“Yep.”
“And you won’t do anything about it?”
“Yep.”
“What about Aang? What if he does something about it?”
“Nah. I doubt that. I kinda said some really hurtful stuff.” Toph had her arms folded on the back of her head. Everything was peaceful here in the Spiritual Oasis. She would definitely go with Sokka the next time he visits. “I like Aang, but you’re equally as important to me, Katara, which is why I’m stripping my barriers around my stupid feelings for a blockheaded monk.”
There was a sniffle from Katara. “I think you’re the real Sweetness between the two of us, Toph.” Next thing she knew, Katara was hugging her tightly. “You’re very important to me as well—same as and to Aang.”
Toph buried her cheek in her arms, snuggling for warmth.
“Which is why I’m saying it’s okay.”
Then, Toph moved back. “What’s okay?”
“You and Aang,” Katara repeated with pure sincerity. “You know, when I was with Aang, I mostly advised him on how to be an understanding Avatar, a good Avatar, but I never really advised him on how to be himself. On how to be just Aang.”
Toph didn’t like how this sounded. Why did it feel like she got the opposite of what she wanted—Katara encouraging her to be with Aang.
“I see how he’s been with you, Toph. Aang hadn’t been so free yet grounded at the same time.” Katara squeezed her hand for good measure. “His duties as the Avatar are endless and straining yet you support him really well in your own way. You remind him of who he is beyond that immense responsibility. You two also fight the best when you’re together. That chemistry doesn’t exist if you two aren’t on the same wavelength. Remember Ba Sing Se?”
Toph remembered Ba Sing Se. She wanted to leave that hazardous place.
“Katara, stop. You playing matchmaker between me and your ex is the last thing I want.” Toph drew her hand back. Katara merely laughed.
“Oh, dear. Don’t pull that card on me. I’m not playing matchmaker at all.” She adjusted Toph’s jacket in place, patting the furry neck warmer clean of any dirt or soil. “I’m telling you to face your feelings. You were friends before you found out you felt more than that.”
“I have been honest with him. It almost burned bridges.” Toph wrinkled her nose. “Shouldn’t you be telling that to yourself? I know about you and Zuko.”
“W-what?!” The waterbender’s cool suddenly dissipated. “There’s nothing between us!”
“That’s what he said,” Toph was itching all over this thick jacket. She wanted to shrug it off. “Thank the spirits I’m blind or else I’ll be seeing that non-stop peaco*ck dancing whenever the two of you are in the same room.”
“But we’ve been talking about formalities. Boring stuff in your language.”
“A-huh, that’s all you two say so when you run out of topics from the fuddy-duddy politics.” Toph lay back on the ground, immersing herself to the atmosphere of the oasis. “And here I thought I was the slow one.”
She felt Katara lie down next to her, watching the sky. “Stop making this about me and Zuko. It’s about you and Aang.”
“Whatever you say, Sweetness. I’m sure Sparky’s going to come around someday.” Toph waved her off when she tried to deny it. Katara in denial was very much like Zuko in denial. She just hoped they wouldn’t spin around for eternity like Tui and La. She sighed, facing the sky in placidity. “Say, are the stars beautiful tonight?”
Katara used to describe how the almighty floaty glowy things on the sky looked beautiful back then just to tick her off. Toph didn’t feel like it was anything special. But now, she was curious about what the sky looked like whenever she flew along the clouds with Aang, riding behind Appa’s back.
With a thoughtful hum and Katara’s head lightly hitting hers, the waterbender replied, “You’re not missing anything.” She held Toph’s hand, squeezing it tenderly as if she were trying to convince her about it.
Toph made a sound of amusem*nt, closing her eyes as she squeezed back.
Toph liked the Northern Water Tribe. She liked Tui and La and their conversations about questioning life and constant swimming. She did most of the talking since they were great listeners, but what she really liked the most was the garden. It felt warm and comforting—akin to how her mother would hug her on a Sunday afternoon—akin to how flying with Aang felt.
It had been three days since her reunion with the airbender, and it had been an agonizing three days pretending they never angrily confessed to each other the last time they met. Stiff greetings were their breakfast and awkward spoon clunking on clay bowls were their goodnights. Everyone probably knew something was amiss, but chose not to speak of it. Katara made sure Sokka kept his mouth shut. Only they could see what face Aang would make.
How luckily unlucky of Toph.
Just like the previous days, Toph chose to make the Spirit Oasis her bedroom. She would retire with the fishes and wake up the next day with either one of her friends coming in with breakfast. When night falls, they guide her to the garden and stay until she falls asleep.
However, tonight wasn’t like any of her previous nights. It was Ty Lee’s turn to bring her to the oasis but she was nowhere to be found. Toph felt a little alone with nothing to feel under her skin, but after a few minutes, despite being in the Northern Water Tribe, a warm breeze enveloped her on the outskirts of town.
She immediately knew who it was.
“Are you lost? The meeting room should be on the other side of town,” Toph said as a greeting. Suki repeated a bunch of times for her to know of it.
“They don’t need me there. Zuko has everything under the wraps.” She didn’t have to be on earth to know where Aang would be. The breeze would tell her instead. He was considerate to keep things less chilly whenever he was around. “How have you been?” Aang sounded near. Toph guessed that if she stretched an arm she’d touch him.
Terrible but bearable.
“Peachy,” she answered. “You?”
He chuckled, a tad raspy due to the negative climate. “Peachy.”
Toph let out a breath. She was insane to think Aang sounded attractive just now. “It’s not like you to skip on those elderly gumflappers.”
“Gumflappers, huh?” He breathed out, amused. “Yeah, but that’s what I’ve been doing for months now. I need a break.” Crushed ice settled under his boots. He must be leaning against an igloo at present.
Aang saying he needed a break meant a lot if he was now traveling on his own. He usually agrees to whatever was served for him, trying to make up for his century-old absence. His breaks used to be for the convenience of his traveling partner. Of what used to be Katara’s benefit—and extension, hers.
Toph folded her arms across her chest. Why was Ty Lee taking so long with her business? “You had a lot of breaks back then.” Coming in and out of her school like it was his home.
“I had a reason to take one,” Aang said. “However, I didn’t have any for the last few months. It was my fault.”
Toph bit the inside of her cheek. Where the heck was Ty Lee?
As if he read her mind and the way she rubbed her elbows in slight distress, he spoke, “I saw Ty Lee half an hour ago. She was with her girlfriend in town.”
“Oh? Isn’t that great?” Toph was going to nail Ty Lee on the ground the moment they returned to the Earth Kingdom. “Do you know which way the garden is?”
Ice crinkled near her, approaching in soft and careful steps. She felt Aang stand in front of her. “Will you allow me to bring you there instead? I promise I won’t take a step on the ground.” He said it cautiously as if he bargained for a loss.
The ground would make her know of him. Aang was wary of it.
She raised her hand like she used to whenever she reached for him. To her surprise, his arm was already there for her to hold onto.
“Sure.”
They did what they used to do together—walking under the skies whether they were from the corners of the Earth Kingdom to the glaciers of the Northern Water Tribe. His gentle nature remained despite the subtle change of physique. Perhaps the mellow tunes of his heart had been a lullaby for her senses. Perhaps the thunders that brewed whenever he was on edge had been the epicenter of the earthquakes in her heart. But either way, she did miss Aang’s company.
“The sky bisons has grown a lot since your last visit,” he started. “They’re like Appa if he shed five tons.”
“They’re half of Appa.”
Aang considered it. “Yeah, half of Appa but equally adorable.”
“I can imagine it.” Because that was what she was best at. Imagine. Guess. Feel.
The tunes of his heart were calm. It didn’t bother him anymore. It was an improvement, she thought. None of them spoke of what happened when they were twenty—a hundred and twenty for the benefit of Aang’s ice age era.
They had ignored a lot of things for the past five years since they were sixteen. The one time they stopped ignoring the real issue was the time they went their separate ways.
More than the pain of losing a lover, it hurts to lose a friend. Toph wasn’t great at losing things.
Aang did what he promised. He guided her to the Spirit Oasis without much of a talk, just pleasantries and casual discussion of the potential Cranefish Town could be—a conversation for acquaintances.
He stretched his arm, letting her cross the bridge with ease. Like his words, he remained on the ice while she stepped on the ground. Toph didn’t need to feel through the cold layer to know he stayed.
“You don’t have to mind me. I’m staying as a precaution,” he reasoned. “Ty Lee will come soon.” And he would be gone.
Toph took off her boots, stepping into her comfort zone. She wasn’t mad anymore. It had been a long time, but being with Aang felt strange. “You can stay as long as you want. I don’t own the Oasis. Yue does.”
He smiled through his voice. “Believe me, Yue would say no.”
“What? You talked with her or something?”
“Maybe,” he answered, “with a bit of scolding. She likes how you kept her company while complaining about work. You complain about Sokka a lot too.”
For the first time in a long time, Toph laughed because of him. “People like to complain. It’s human nature.”
Aang didn’t say anything else after that, but he remained beyond the wooden bridge. It felt nice to have a comforting silence with him. It felt nostalgic. It was something she missed.
It wasn’t until they heard Ty Lee’s bubbliness from afar did he opened his mouth to confirm something.
“Toph, will you be keeping your reservation with me?”
She sat up, turning to him as she had no idea about her booking. Aang didn’t expound on it either.
Her mind wandered to the past. It brought her back to his nonsensical invitation to the afterlife.
He was still asking her about it. If there was something constant with Aang, it was this.
Toph looked at him—at what she assumed to be him. “Make sure you serve tea the way Uncle Iroh does or I’ll bail.”
She guessed Aang would grin at it, and it would be a memory she would keep with him at the age of twenty-one.
